Who Am I As A Communicator?

In my Communication Anxiety test others rated me lower then I rated myself.  Although there are times when I am a bit uncomfortable, to those that evaluated me it is not noticeable.  In Verbal Aggressiveness I rated myself as having a good balance between speaking my thoughts while maintaining respect and consideration for others.  My colleague also evaluated me in that way but my family member rated me as significantly aggressive.  I think this surprised me the most because I don’t see myself that different in the way that I communicate at home.  I suppose that I am not as conscious of my communication when I am with family as I am when I am in the workplace. 

Two insights I gathers this week are: 

When communicating I can improve my perceptions by avoiding relying on first impressions.  I can resist taking the easy way out by avoiding communication based on these impressions and instead spend time really listening and going beyond the surface.

I need to be mindful not mindless when it comes to communication, even if it is with family.  Family relationships are a very important value to me and so I want to communicate effectively in this area as well as the work place.

Communicating With Others

I do communicate differently with people from other cultures.  One area that comes to mind particularly is the way that I communicate with those whose primary language is not English.  My desire is that I would understand them and that they would understand me, but recently my daughter pointed out that I communicate in a way that could be insulting.  Apparently I use fewer words, talk slowly and use a lot of hand gestures.  This was unconscious on my part and I realize that I could be making a big assumption that they don’t understand.  My daughter told me that they understand perfectly and I should talk normally.  Now that I am aware of my actions I can correct this.  

The other area that I notice requires adapting my communication is when it comes to physical touch.  I notice that some people are comfortable with touch and others seem to have a “bubble” around them.  The way people greet each other varies depending on their culture.  Some of my colleagues would be insulted if I didn’t greet them with a hug and some would be very offended if I did.  This is an area I have to adapt to by paying attention to body language.  If I notice the other person is stepping back then I know I may be standing too close to them.  I have to observe the body language with those that I don’t know well in order to gage their comfort. 

Three strategies to improve communication:   

1.  Being mindful of my own actions and the actions of others during communication is important.  I also need to make sure that I don’t jump to conclusions and ask questions and reflect to gage understanding.

2.  Recognize that different nonverbal behaviors mean different things.  Gonzalez-Mena  point out that we must expand our ability to pick up on silent messages and notice when others are uncomfortable. (2011).

3.  Developing appropriate knowledge is a very important step when learning about others. Gonzalez-Mena mentions several types of touch that would be offensive in certain cultures (2011).  I need to make sure that I know what some of these touches are and be ready to adjust my personal practice accordingly.  

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon

Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

Without Sound-Family Matters Sit Com

Sound Off

This particular family was made up of a mother, father and a son.  The mother seemed to be the dominate person in the family.  She was always pointing at them and appeared to be bossing them around.  As the other family members talked to her, they seemed to watch her to see her reaction.  She would show her approval or disapproval by what appear to be yelling, shaking of her head, rolling her eyes and avoiding eye contact or looking away.  The other characters body language was more submissive, relaxed and they appeared to be talking quieter.  In one scene the father goes to the son’s room to talk to him.  He turns his chair to face the son and they are talking eye to eye.  They appear to be listening to each other.  At one point the son takes out a notepad and writes down what the father was saying.    

Sound on

 I assumed that the mother and father had a rocky relationship.  They did not make eye contact and the mother seemed to make angry or irritated facial expressions.  When I watched the show I realized I was incorrect because the mother was sarcastic and was not mad.  They were communicating through several inside jokes.  I was correct in that the mother had more of a domineering role and personality.   It would have been much easier if I had seen the show before because I would have known that this was supposed to be the funny part of the show.  Whenever she made what appeared to be a yelling or rude gesture she was actually making a sarcastic and funny remark.  The audience laughed but the family did not so I had no idea when I watched it with the sound off.  In the end the mother and father stick up for each other and say things that make the other feel as though they are on the same team.

A Communicator I Admire

The first person that comes to mind when I think of competent communication is my coworker.  She is the most authentic person I know.  When she communicates she is being very honest and this honesty makes her vulnerable.  Because she makes her self vulnerable it makes me want to respond with vulnerability.  I have noticed people come to her and tell her things that normally would not be shared with anyone else.  She creates an atmosphere of trust in this way.  I have also observed that she often reflects what people are saying by restating it.  She listens well and nods making eye contact and often says tell me more about that.  She doesn’t just jump in to “solve” the problem but rather focuses on identifying the real issue.  I would want to model some of my communication behaviors after her because they are very effective and communicating love and respect.  Those are important values of mine and I believe I can learn from observing her methods.

Professional Hopes and Goals

◦What are the three most significant "lessons" that I have learned from studying issues related to diversity, equity, and social justice in this course—and what makes them significant?

1. Prejudice and discrimination are alive and well.  What is significant about this is that I have realized that there is hidden bias and prejudice displayed in ways that are often unconscious.  I have become more aware of this which will help me overcome my own bias and stand up for equity

2. Being an advocate for anti-bias education will take institutional change starting with the institution that I am a part of.  This is important because I am part of the dominate culture and can influence some of the practices that go on in the work place that are discriminatory

3. Creating a diverse classroom means that I will need to find out about the family culture of each of my students.  This is important and necessary in order to integrate other cultures into my classroom culture.

◦Which of my personal characteristics/dispositions do I consider to be my most valuable asset for my work with children and families from varied backgrounds—and for what reason(s)?

I think in general I am very accepting of others and assume the best of people.  I feel a great deal of compassion for others and this motivates me to move beyond first impressions.  This will be a necessary in making sure I value and include children and families of various backgrounds, beliefs, values and cultures.  Although I know that I still have room to grow in this area, I feel that I have a good foundation from which to work from.

◦Thinking about the statement, made by one of the panelists, "The passion comes from the vision": What is your interpretation of this statement, and in what way(s), if any, can you relate to the connection implied between professional passion and a vision regarding diversity?

Keeping focused on the vision of creating a better future for the next generation that is free from hate and that gives all children the right to reach their full potential will help me in everyday situations.  Noticing when certain actions are effecting that vision creates a sense of hope and determination to keep going.    I like how Derman-sparks sums it up by saying that we need to remember that although we are not perfect change is still possible (2011).

Reference

Laureate Education. (2011) Course Media: Diversity and equity work: Lessons learned.

Five ways to be culturally responsive towards a family living in Russia

Five ways to be culturally responsive towards a family living in Russia

1.  Reading personal blogs:

I went on the internet and read some blogs written by Russian children.  There are also blogs written by teachers in Russia that share their own experiences with the culture and what life is like there.

2.  Consider ways to integrate individual family cultural of children into the curriculum and create opportunities for families to share their individual family culture.  This will take thoughtful planning.

3.  Research the home language and search for pictures and ways to include the home language into the classroom.

3.  Avoid insvisiblity by researching meaningful art, music and books that can be added to the classroom environment. 

4. Make sure to read books, watch movies, and listen to music from Russia to get a better understanding of culture and family life.  Schedule a home visit if possible.

I see this as an opportunity to model by example love and respect for those that are different. The entire class can learn to appreciate others and learn that different is good.  It is an opportunity for me to learn more about the world and try new and different approaches.  The result will be professional growth.   

 

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

I recently witnessed prejudice in a hiring situation.  I heard about an opening where my friend worked and so I recommended a young black man that just graduated from high school.  He had the perfect skill set for the job, had a high work ethic and would have been a perfect fit.  After the interview I asked my friend if she heard how it went and she said her boss said there is “No way” she would hire him because she didn’t like his “look.”  I was shocked because I really didn’t realize such racism still existed!  This women supervisor made a judgment based on outward appearance and whatever bias she had attached to that and this young man did not even get an equitable chance.  I really made me angry.  This young man ended up putting twice as many job applications and working twice as hard to get a job then a Caucasian individual would have had to.  It also seems so silly to me and the employer really missed out on a great employee.  In this situation the supervisor who was hiring needed to be reported for the remarks.  The employer(s) needed educating and there needs to be more honest conversation in general about our individual bias and why it is there before beginning to dismantle it.